Alone
by VentePaDu
Summary: He's alone, Soubi's gone. But when he gets sick, who will come and help him heal? Will he be able to forgive? Or will they be torn apart forever? A REQUESTED STORY! -Your call by Secondhand Serenade is the theme song for this story- YAOI WARNING!
1. Friendless

**Chapter 1**

He hadn't seen Soubi for over six weeks and he was starting to seriously worry about him. He had never stayed out of contact for this long. Even when he commanded Soubi to call him back in the messages he left, his phone never rang. He had a permanent uneasy feeling in his stomach and he didn't know how much longer he could stand it.

He slammed his head down on his desk. Soubi had been with him ever since 6th grade. After Seimei died, he didn't think he could ever love anyone again, or that anyone could ever love him. But then Soubi came along. It had been four years since he met Soubi and that jerk still made him worry every time he left. Even though he always came home, Ritsuka couldn't help but worry. He slipped the cell phone out of his pocket and checked it for possibly the tenth time in the last five minutes. He didn't know why time seemed to be passing so slowly.

"Ritsuka!" He snapped his head up from the desk and stared around at the classroom full of students, all eyes on him. Some snickered, but for the most pars the room was deathly silent.

"Y…yes?" His voice came out strained and nervous, probably from his sudden embarrassment.

"No sleeping in class. If you don't feel well go to the nurse."

"Right. S…sorry." He placed his hand under his chin as class began to start again and sighed. "Stupid Soubi…" He muttered under his breath. "Where are you?"

Suddenly his phone vibrated and blinked red. He jumped up out of his seat, knocked over his chair and began to run for the door. "Where are you going?"

"Uh…to the nurse!" He yelled as he ran out of the door full speed and down the numerous hallways to the main entrance of the school. He slowed as he reached the main gate and he looked around both corners, scanning the surrounding are for the man with long blonde hair. He was nowhere in sight. He placed his hands on his knees in order to catch his breath and pulled his cell phone out once more. He flipped it open to read the message. After glancing at it, he knew it would have been helpful to actually read the message before reacting to it.

_Don't worry. I'll be back soon._

_Soubi_

"Damn you!" He screamed at the cell phone in his hand. "You stupid jerk! How am I supposed to _not_ worry! That's impossible!" He growled and shoved the cell phone back into his pocket before storming off to the nurse's office. "Excuse me. May I use one of your beds?" He tried to keep his voice as calm and polite as possible, even though he wanted to hit something.

"Are you alright?"

"Yea. I'll be fine. I just need to lie down for a little while. I got a headache."

"Go right ahead."

"Thank you." He crawled into a bed and pulled the curtain shut around it, blocking himself off from the rest of the world. "How could he do this to me?" Just telling him to not worry didn't help. He knew that until Soubi was back with him, this uneasy feeling wouldn't go away.

He was tired. Tired of waiting for him and thinking about him every single moment. He pulled out the cell phone one more time and stared at the background. It was a picture of them, on a trip to the beach. He sighed before closing the phone and placing it near his pillow. His eyelids began to droop and he let them. Right now, he just wanted to sleep and forget everything. And sleep he did.

…:::…

"Ritsu-kun…Ritsu-kuuuuuun!" His eyes slowly opened and he saw is pink haired friend staring down at him. He normal reaction would have been to scream in surprise. But he was WAY too tired for that.

"Yea? What is it?"

"Are you okay? You're shaking and running a fever again." He looked down at his hand to discover that it was indeed shaking.

"That's odd. I feel fine."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Well that's good. School's already over. Do you want to walk home with me today?"

"I guess so." He stood up and he automatically felt like lying down again. His head was spinning and the world began to tilt. He caught himself on the table near the bed and pause slightly before pushing himself back up.

"Ritsu-kun! Are you alright?" He forced a smile.

"Fine. I just stood up to fast, that's all."

"Alright. You ready to go then?"

"Yea." They walked in silence for several moments before Yuiko began to speak again.

"You've been acting really weird lately Ritsu-kun."

"Have I?"

"Is this about Soubi?" He froze in place, as did she.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you look nervous and you've been checking your phone a lot." A silence fell as they stood on the sidewalk. It was an awkward silence, as if both of them wanted to say something but it wouldn't come out. Finally, he spoke.

"Y…Yuiko?"

"What is it?"

"Do you think it's possible that he…that he could possibly…"

"Possibly what?"

"Leave me?" He looked at her, his newfound growth giving him the advantage.

"Ritsu-kun…" Her eyes were filled with pity and suddenly he knew what the answer was. Soubi had never belonged to him. He belonged to Seimei. He didn't want to hear her answer.

"Never mind."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it Yuiko. I was just thinking out loud." He faked another smile. "I'll be fine. Now let's go." He grabbed her hand and began to walk quickly, not realizing that he was half dragging her behind him.

His head felt dizzy, his stomach was in knots and he felt like he was going to faint. He turned the corner towards their houses and slowed down his pace. They reached her door first and he let go of her hand. "Ritsu-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yea. I'm sure." He didn't look at her. He didn't want her to see him like this. "See ya later Yuiko."

"Bye." He stuffed both hands in his coat pockets and began to walk towards the river. He could feel her watching him, feel her eyes on his back. He continued walking and sighed. He knew that he should try to go home and sleep but he knew it was pointless. He hadn't slept or ate well for weeks. He couldn't. Not when he felt like something was seriously wrong. Soubi disappeared and he didn't like it. Not one bit.

He was at his wits end. He couldn't bare it for much longer. "That unbelievable jerk…" he muttered for perhaps the one-hundredth time that day. No matter how many times he said it, it wasn't enough. He wanted to see Soubi but he also wanted to yell at him. He wanted to hold Soubi but he also wanted to hit him. He was angry but he was also sad. Soubi always had that effect on him. He always got confused when he thought about him.

Ritsuka sighed and looked up from his feet. He had reached the river, the place where Soubi and him used to go together.

But Soubi wasn't here. Soubi had left him. Soubi had abandoned him. Soubi was never his to have.

He sat down on the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest, a habit that had developed a long time ago. Ritsuka dropped his head to rest on top of them and tried to pull his knees even closer. He wished he were a kid again. He wished that Seimei had never betrayed him. And he wished that he had never met Soubi.

Because if he never met Soubi, then Soubi couldn't hurt him. If he had never met Soubi, he wouldn't be confused all the time.

But somewhere deep down inside of him, he knew that he needed Soubi. That he begun to depend on him. And that made Ritsuka even angrier. He wanted to be stronger. He didn't want to have to depend on other people for happiness. He wanted to be able to be carefree and happy just like other kids his age. He wanted to live like a normal teenager with a normal family life and a normal mom. But all of that was impossible and he knew it.

He flopped back on the grass and closed his eyes, the setting sun seeping through his eyelids. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Yuiko's cell phone. It rang and rang and rang but no one answered. He hung up and tried again. No one answered.

Everyone was abandoning him. No one was there when he need them most. He closed to phone and stood up, gripping the object tightly in his hand.

No one was there.

No one could help him.

He couldn't depend on anyone.

He was alone.

Alone…it's one of those words that always got to him. It only consisted of five letters but the word itself contained so much pain. He let out a small growl and gripped the small phone even tighter in his hand. "Why?" He whispered quietly. "Why is everyone doing this?" He lifted his head from where it hung. "WHY?" He screamed as he threw the phone that was in his hand with all of his might. It landed with a small _plunk_ in the water. He didn't care that that phone was the only way to contact Soubi. If they were truly connected, if Soubi truly cared, he would have come back by now. He would have heard Ritsuka's plea no matter where he was.

"Please Soubi…please come back. I need you." He waited for several moments and then did something he hadn't done for a long time. He began to cry. Tears rolled down his face and he turned back towards his house and ran. He was in no condition to be running. With every breath he took, his chest felt as if it was on fire. With every step, he was a step closer to collapsing. He just had to make it to his house. He just had to make it there, to that empty room. Where he could collapse. Where he could sleep. Where he could suffer in silence. Where he could be…

Alone.


	2. Feverless

**Chapter 2**

He reached his house and stopped, leaning against the gatepost. It took him much longer than usual to catch his breath. It wasn't fair. Everyone abandoned him and now he's sick.

"God…damn it…" He muttered in between breaths. Ritsuka pushed himself off of the gatepost and stumbled towards the door. He was burning up. He could tell without even feeling his forehead. He reached in his pocket, found his key and, after fumbling with the lock for several moments, swung the door open. He began to trudge towards the stairs when he heard a voice.

"Seimei? Is that you?" He sighed before turning around.

"No mom. It's just me." She constantly got him and his late elder brother confused due to his recent growth spurt. Her eyes turned angry and he walked up the stairs to his room before she could start yelling and beating him again. He closed the door and locked it just as she began to beat on it.

"Ritsuka! Open the door! Good children listen to their parents!" He dropped his school bag and his coat on his desk chair as she continued to yell, opened up the door to his porch so cool air could come in and flopped down on his bed, pulling the pillow up over his head. His mother continued to rant outside. It would be better if the Ritsuka he was now didn't exist. That's what she believed. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get that Ritsuka back. He didn't want to get that Ritsuka back. If that Ritsuka came back, this one would disappear.

The banging on his door ceased and he removed the pillow from his head and laid on it normally. He felt like he was dying and he didn't like it. It sucked. His whole body hurt from fatigue and deprivation. His head was spinning with fever and confusion.

Ritsuka reached up and grabbed a frame off of his desk. It contained his favorite picture of him and Soubi. It was a picture from the first time he met Soubi. In 6th grade. They both looked happy. He was a child then. He had a feeling he wouldn't be happy like that again.

His breath began to strain and he found himself wheezing as his eyes began to close. "S…Soubi…Where are…you?" The picture frame fell from his hand and clattered to the floor as his eyes finally closed.

…:::…

The man stopped in front of the familiar house and a smirk crossed his face. The door to the porch was open. "That isn't safe Ritsuka. Anyone could just waltz right in and take advantage of you." He climbed up to the porch and walked into the room, only to see the teenager asleep in his clothes, his back turned towards the man. He walked up to the boy and picked the frame off the ground setting it back on the desk where it belonged. "Honestly." He sat next to the boy on the bed and reached towards him in order to pull a piece of hair out of his face.

As his fingers touched the boy's forehead, he stopped. Soubi laid his entire hand against Ritsuka's forehead. He rolled Ritsuka over and shook him, trying to wake him but to no avail. The boy's breathing was labored. His temperature was far above normal. Soubi removed his jacket and laid it over the back of the chair. As he did he heard his name muttered and turned back to the boy wondering if he had awoken. He hadn't which worried Soubi. "How could you let yourself get into this condition Ritsuka? I leave you alone for a few weeks…"

…:::…

_Ritsuka…_ The voice penetrated the darkness that surrounded him. _Ritsuka… _

'_Soubi.'_ He tried to reply to the voice but he couldn't be heard.

_Ritsuka… _

'_Soubi I'm right here.' _

_Ritsuka… _

'_Soubi can't you hear me?' _

_Ritsuka…_

'_Soubi answer me! Can't you hear me? I'm right here!"_

_Ritsuka…_

"Soubi!" He sat up quickly and immediately wished he hadn't. His head was still spinning. His hands were shaking again. "It was a dream. Soubi isn't here." He tried to convince himself of this fact when he heard a voice from his doorway.

"Thank goodness your awake." His head snapped to attention and he slowly turned towards the door. His eyes widened as he took in the person he had missed so much. His hair was pulled back as Ritsuka had seen when him do when he was painting. His muscled figure showed through the black turtleneck sweater he had on. "You had me worried. It's been two days." Ritsuka didn't respond. How could he come back after all this time and act like nothing had happened? How could he act like he didn't do anything wrong? How could he act like he didn't hurt Ritsuka at all? He dropped his head and balled his shaking hands into fists. "Ritsuka are you all right?" 'No.' He wanted to scream it at him. 'No I'm not alright. You left me alone you bastard!' But the words didn't come. "Ritsuka?" He felt a hand at his chin, trying to bring his head back up. He slapped it away.

"Don't touch me." The hand fell and a new weight made his bed sink even more. A small silence fell before the man spoke.

"Ritsuka I…"

"I don't want to hear it. Get out." The man didn't move but simply sat there as if he didn't say anything. "I said get out."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes." Soubi got up and gathered his things from the chair. He began to walk towards the door but paused when he reached it.

"I love you Ritsuka." He heard a click as the door closed and let out a growl.

"Don't say that!" he screamed as he threw the pillow at the door with all his might. "I don't…" His head dropped once more. "I don't want to hear you…say things like that…Soubi. Don't lie to me! I never want to see you again! I hate you Soubi! I hate you!" The floorboard outside his door creaked and he jumped out of bed. He flung the door open and ran to the top of the stairs. The front door closed as he reached the stairs. "Soubi…did you hear me?" He didn't mean to hurt Soubi. "It doesn't matter." He told himself. "He hurt me. It's only fair."

The door opened once more and his mother walked through the door, carrying bags of groceries. "Ritsuka!" She called. "Come help your mom with the groceries!" He walked downstairs.

Did she not even realize he had been upstairs asleep for the past two days? He walked to the front door and grabbed one of the bags from her. "What are you still doing in bed? You're going to be late for school." She looked up at him for the first time that morning and actually smiled. He was taken aback until she spoke again.

"Oh Seimei it's you. Where Ritsuka?" He sighed but faked a smile. Seimei would have smile.

"He's still asleep."

"After you drop those off in the kitchen go wake him up for me please."

"Sure." He sat the groceries down on the table and was about to turn around when she grabbed his hand.

"What happened to you Seimei? How did you cut yourself?" He put another smile on his face and lied. She was getting even worse.

"I fell down on my way home yesterday. I'm fine." She dropped his hand and sighed.

"Jeez and I thought Ritsuka was the clumsy one." She turned to the sink and he snuck out of the room before she looked at him too closely and noticed that he wasn't Seimei. He went back up to his room and began to get dressed for school. As he traveled into the bathroom, Ritsuka looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't look a thing like Seimei. His hair and ears may have been the same color but besides that, he couldn't find any similarities. Ritsuka still had a childish quality to his face that Seimei didn't. His eyes were several shades lighter than he remembered Seimei's being. He was still at least six inches shorter than Seimei was. Even his tail was different. How could his mom get them confused? Then he heard a banging on the door.

…:::…

"Ritsu-kun!" He raised his head up as he reached the front gate of the school.

"Hey Yuiko." She placed her hands on her hips and stared at him.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Where have you been?"

"Sick. I had a fever ya know."

"Yea I know. But I was worried." His eyes widened.

"You were?"

"Of course! I didn't hear my phone when you called so I tried to call you back but you never answered! I called you at least twenty times Ritsu-kun!"

"Sorry." He suddenly felt really stupid. How could he think that someone like Yuiko could abandon him?

The answer was simple. He was Loveless. Being Loveless was his destiny. Loveless. One without love.

"Ritsu-kun?" He snapped out of it and looked back at his friend. "Are you listening?"

"Sorry I kinda zoned out there for a second. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that while you were gone Teacher Appreciation Day was announced."

"What's that?"

"You invite teachers from middle school that you really liked and they come see you and how much you've grown. So I invited Hitomi Sensei."

"You did?"

"Yea and she's upstairs in the classroom already!" She grabbed his hand and started dragging him behind her. "Let's go see her! I'm sure she's exited to see you Ritsu-kun!"

They reached the classroom and she finally let go of his hand. He stood up straight and looked through the door to see their sixth grade teacher talking to some other adults. She still hadn't lost her ears. He chuckled but then fell silent. Seeing her just reminded him of sixth grade, which only reminded him of Soubi. Damn it! Why couldn't he get that stupid guy out of his head?

"My Ritsuka you sure have grown!" He looked at the face of his middle school teacher and smiled. "Your taller than me now huh?" she placed her hand on top of her head and traced a straight line across to his face, whacking him in the forehead.

"Ow Sensei." He rubbed the spot even though it didn't truly hurt.

"Sorry. So how have you been Ritsuka?"

"Good I was…"

"Um…Ritsu-kun?" He looked over to his pink haired friend who was staring out the window.

"What is it Yuiko?" She pointed out the window.

"Isn't that Soubi?" He walked over to the window and saw a man smoking by the front gate. His smile disappeared and he turned towards the stairs. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back." He replied without turning around. As soon as he rounded the corner, he broke out into a run. Why was Soubi here? Why?

As he reached the front gate, slowed and snatched the cigarette out of the blonde man's mouth. "Jeez. How many times do I have to tell you to not smoke in front of a school?" Soubi reached out for him but he stepped back. "Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to see if you were better Ritsuka."

"It's you're fault I was sick in the first place!" He found himself suddenly screaming at the man. "You had me so worried you bastard! Why didn't you answer your damn phone! Didn't you say you would always answer my calls? I even tried calling for you as a sacrifice! But that only worked with you and Seimei! I bet you wouldn't have left him for that long! I bet you wouldn't have lied to him! I bet you would have answered his phone calls!" He dropped his head as his eyes began to water. "But…I'm not as important to you as Seimei was…I know that…I just…"

"Ritsuka…" Soubi reached for him again and again he backed away.

"Don't touch me. I don't want to hear your excuses. I just want you to leave me alone." He turned around and ran again. His whole body hurt. So did his chest. He still hadn't fully recovered and seeing _him _didn't help at all. Ritsuka could never replace Seimei. Not in his mother's eyes and not in Soubi's. He was destined to be Loveless. He was destined to be lonely and sad. He dried his eyes before sliding the door to the classroom open. As he did, many faces stared up at him. "S…sorry I'm late."

"Take a seat next to your teacher Aoyagi." He nodded and took the empty seat to the right of Hitomi-Sensei. "No jackets in class Aoyagi." He flinched.

"But I'm really cold."

"Then you should have dressed warmer. It's not my problem. The rules are meant to be followed." Ritsuka sighed and slipped off his jacket. He winced as he moved to take the jacket off of his left arm. A sharp pain ran from the top of his shoulder to the tips of his fingers and he clenched his teeth, closing one eye, trying to endure it. It also didn't help that the only shirt he had that morning was his sleeveless one. Everyone could see all of his bandages including the one on his shoulder. He draped his coat over the back of his chair and sat down, setting his head on the desk. Whispers erupted throughout the classroom.

"Why is that kid so beat up?"

"I hear he's a delinquent."

"He must get in lots of fights."

"Yea, he's probably a very violent person."

"I'm surprised his teacher even showed up."

"She probably just came for the girl. Not him."

"I hear his older brother was murdered."

"He must have turned violent after that." He clenched his teeth even harder to the point where they began to grind against each other. He felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched away from it.

"Ritsuka did she do this?" He stood up violently, knocking his chair over in the process. All the whispers came to a grinding halt. "Ritsuka?" He turned and ran for the door. It seemed that's all he had been doing recently. Running away because he had no one to run to. He felt himself suddenly yearning for someone to save him. Seimei. Soubi. Someone. Anyone. He just needed help. As he ran around the corner, out of the school, he bumped into someone.

"Sorry."

"Ri-chan?" He looked up at the face of another familiar person.

"Kio? What are you doing?"

"I was going shopping. But I could ask you the same question. Are you crying?" He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

"No." Kio placed a hand on his good shoulder.

"How about we go for a walk?" He hesitated. "I'll buy you ice cream." He chuckled softly.

"I'm not a little kid Kio."

"What's that?" He cupped his hand around his ear. "You want Vanilla?" He began to walk again, talking as he went. "Well alright. I'm partial to chocolate myself but everyone likes something different I guess…" He found himself laughing again before shaking his head and following the green haired man.


	3. Blameless

**Chapter 3**

He followed the green haired man to a small park where an ice cream stand sat. He waited on the bench while Kio bought him some.

Soubi. Where did he go for so long? Why did he leave Ritsuka behind? Why didn't he take Ritsuka with him? He felt someone tug on his ears and they twitched in response.

"Here ya go!" He brought his head back up to see Kio's face very close to his. He took the ice cream and Kio sat down next to him. A short silence fell before…

"You're mad at Sou-chan aren't ya?" Ritsuka choked on the bite of ice cream he had just taken. "I'm right aren't I?" He lowered the ice cream from his mouth and hung his head slightly.

"Aren't you?"

"Not at all!" His head snapped back up and he stared at Kio furious.

"Why not! He left you too didn't he? He didn't tell you where he was going either! Why aren't you mad at him for just disappearing like that?"

"Sou-chan will be Sou-chan." He calmed down slightly at that statement.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sou-chan has always been free spirited. He is an artist after all. For as long as I've known Sou-chan, he's always done what he wanted when he wanted."

"Except for when Seimei was around." Kio face darkened slightly.

"Yes. Except for when he was with Seimei."

"I'm kinda jealous of Seimei. Seimei wouldn't have let Soubi leave him like that. He would have…"

"Don't be jealous of a guy like him Ri-chan." He looked back up a Kio confused. "To be honest, I like you way better than Seimei." Kio smiled at him and Ritsuka hung his head.

"I'm starting to think you're the only one that does. My mother loves Seimei so much more than me, to the point where she calls me Seimei and gets us confused."

"No offense Ri-chan but you're Mom's crazy." He glared at Kio. "It's just the truth. Listen to me. A mother is supposed to love her children unconditionally right? No matter how he acts or what he looks like, she's supposed to love him. A mother who can do this," he motioned at all Ritsuka's bandages, "to her child, isn't how a mother is supposed to be." Another silence fell as Ritsuka thought about what he just said. He loved his mother but did she really love him? "Now I have a question for you Ri-chan."

"Huh?"

"Why don't you defend yourself? You're bigger and stronger than her now. You could easily…"

"I promised myself a long time ago that I would never lay a hand on someone. No matter how much they make you angry or how much they hurt you, no one deserves to be hit."

"Man I'm relieved."

"What do ya mean?"

"You really are nothing like Seimei. And that makes me really happy Ri-chan." Kio smiled at him again and tugged on his ears once more.

"Stop that."

"Sorry Ri-chan. They're just so cute!" He glared and the man and found him laughing. "But you know, I think you should forgive Soubi." His 'cute' ears twitched again.

"Why should I?"

"Soubi doesn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't want to hurt you when you left. He was probably doing something dangerous like fighting grizzly bears and he didn't want you to get hurt."

"Grizzly bears?"

"I saw it on TV."

"Oh." He smirked. "Kio?"

"Huh?"

"Thanks."

"No problem. Anytime little Ri-chan!"

"I'm not that little anymore."

"You've still got to grow if you want to be as tall as me and Sou-chan!"

"Give me a break. I'm only seventeen."

"But don't worry about it too much. I like ya short Ri-chan!"

"Jeez. You really are weird." He stood up and stretched, throwing his now empty ice cream cup in the trash. Kio jumped up from the bench defensively.

"What do ya mean?"

"Nothing just something Soubi told me."

"What did Sou-chan tell you?" He paused but didn't respond.

"Kio?" Kio dropped his defensiveness quickly and looked at him. "Would you come with me to do something? I don't want to go by myself." He looked at Ritsuka with a very confused expression but nodded.

"Sure."

…:::…

"See ya later Kio!" He waved to Kio who was already a ways away from him.

"See ya Ri-chan! Call me sometime soon alright!"

"I will!" He turned back towards the direction of his house and began to think about some of the things Kio had said. Even if he was a weird pervert he was a genuinely good guy. He had some good input too.

"Soubi will be Soubi." He muttered to himself. "But I'm his sacrifice now. Doesn't that mean he's supposed to listen to me?" He rubbed the left side of his chest lightly, and reached the front gate to his house only to see someone standing in front of the door. His eyes widened when he recognized her. "Yuiko?" She turned to look at him and rushed over.

"Ritsu-kun!"

"What are you doing here?" She reached back into her backpack and pulled something out.

"I brought your jacket back! You left it in the classroom when you ran out."

"Thanks." He tried to take it from her but she didn't let go. He glanced up at her expression. He had never seen happy-go-lucky Yuiko looking that sad. "Yuiko? What's wrong?"

"Hitomi-Sensei said that someone did this to you right?" She used one hand to reach up and gently touched the bandage on his face. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but…I'm worried about you Ritsu-kun."

"It's nothing. I…"

"I just want to know who did this to you. You've had bandages on before but…there are a lot of them this time. I know you said before that you were just clumsy but this…Ritsu-kun…who did this to you?"

"I…" Just then the door flew open and his mother appeared.

"Ritsuka! You missed you're…" She paused as she looked at me. "Oh it's you Seimei." He sighed relieved that she got them confused for once. Then Yuiko wouldn't have to see.

"Yea it's just me." Yuiko looked up at him, confused. He shook his head slightly. "I'm going to go out for a little while, alright Mother?"

"Alright just be back by your curfew."

"I will." He grabbed Yuiko's hand and pulled Yuiko along behind him.

"Bye Seimei!" She closed the door and he began to walk briskly, dragging Yuiko along behind him.

"Ritsu-kun wait!" He didn't listen but kept on walking. "Wait!" She pulled her hand out of his grip and he stopped. "Why did she call you Seimei?"

"She just gets us confused."

"But Seimei is…isn't he?" He didn't respond but curtly nodded. That was the story anyway. "Then how…"

"My mom's been weird ever since then. Sorry for putting you in such a dangerous situation. I didn't know she was home. I would've made you leave if I did."

"What do you mean dangerous Ritsu-kun? She just…" Yuiko paused and he could almost hear the gears in her head clicking. He turned away from her before she could look at me with the pity that I knew was coming. Ritsuka hated it when people felt sorry for him. "All this time it was…" He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, waiting for her to finishing putting everything together. "Ever since…" He felt a hand on his arm and pulled away. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" There was a long pause before she spoke again. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do. I just knew that you would react like this."

"React like what?"

"With all this pity. I don't need anyone's pity. I can handle it."

"But you shouldn't have to…" He whirled around and she gasped at the sudden movement.

"What can I do Yuiko? Tell me what I can do! I'm only seventeen! I still have another month before I'm of legal age to move out! I can't get out of there yet! Even if I could I…" His anger began to subside and he relaxed. "I wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"I can't just leave her alone can I?"

"But your dad is there."

"Yea between the hours of late and never." He sighed, leaned up against the nearest fence and slunk down the ground. "I'm her son. It's my job to take care of her. Seimei always did." Yuiko knelt down and grabbed his hand. He pulled it away. She sighed and sat down next to him.

"You're not alone you know." He grunted but didn't look at her. "I'm here and so is Soubi…" He laughed and she looked at him with confusion once again.

"Soubi huh?" He shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing much." He stood up and tried his best to look happy. "Should we go somewhere? You don't have a curfew do you?" She shook her head. "Good. We have a while then." He looked down at her, offered her his hand and smiled. "Seimei's curfew was eleven."

…:::…

Two weeks had past since he had seen Soubi. He wanted to say that he wasn't upset about it. That he didn't care about him, but he did. And that frankly pissed him off. He kicked a rock on his way to school. There was no way he was going to go talk to him. No way in hell. If Soubi wanted to talk then Soubi could come and talk to him. He paused in his walk.

Hadn't Soubi already tried that? Hadn't he already come to talk to him? No. Soubi had acted like nothing was wrong. Soubi had left him. It was all Soubi's fault.

He laughed despite himself. He couldn't help but think that Kio was right. That he should quit being so immature and just forgive Soubi. After all, he wasn't twelve anymore. He was in High School. He was practically an adult. Then his ears twitched as he shivered and he pulled his coat around him tighter. He was just in denial. He was still a little kid whether he liked it or not. His ears only reminded him of that fact. As he reached the gate, he saw two people standing there, one blocking his view of the other. He recognized that one and called out to him.

"Hey Kio." The green haired man turned to reveal the second, and Ritsuka felt his small smile fade off of his face.

"Yo, Ri-chan!" The green haired man closed that gap between them and Ritsuka glared at him. "What's the matter?"

"What do you think?" He muttered, his anger bubbling up inside of him.

"Ri-chan, this is ridiculous. Why don't you just forgive him?"

"Why don't you just stay out of it?" His voice had a sharp edge to it and Kio flinched involuntarily.

"Because I hate to see my two best friends fighting. Especially over something so stupid."

"It's not stupid to me." He turned away from the two men and began to walk away but a hand grabbed his wrist.

"Ritsuka."

"What do you want?" He ripped his wrist out of Soubi's grasp, something he couldn't do when they first met. He was just as strong as Soubi now. He felt powerful all of a sudden and he smirked. Ritsuka spun around to face Soubi and Kio, who was apparently taken by surprise due to his change of attitude.

"Ri-chan?"

"I asked a question Soubi. Answer it."

"I wanted to apologize."

"For what? Abandoning me? Breaking your promises? Not answering any of my calls? Which part Soubi?" He was silent so Ritsuka continued ranting. "Because I think I should give you that punishment you're always asking for and let you squirm a little more before forgiving you. That's what Seimei would do right?" He saw Soubi tense slightly. "He would probably make you beg for forgiveness. He would probably give you a physical reminder of how angry he was." Ritsuka raised his had as if to strike Soubi across the face. Kio called out his name and Soubi simply closed his eyes, waiting for the strike. Ritsuka began it but froze before he could come in contact with Soubi's face." But as everyone has pointed out on multiple occasions, I'm not like Seimei." He stuffed his hand back into his pocket and Soubi opened his eyes again. Kio breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed. Ritsuka just became more and more tense. "So I hope you enjoy disappointment Soubi, because I'm not like him and I never will be." He turned back around and continued his walk toward the school building. He knew without looking back that they were both staring at him. He balled his hands into fist in his pockets. Why couldn't he forgive Soubi? Why was it that every time he saw Soubi his anger started to rise to the surface again? Why did it hurt Ritsuka more and more every time he saw him?

He depended on Soubi and he let him down. He needed Soubi and he wasn't there. It was all Soubi's fault.


	4. Phoneless

**Chapter 4**

The next two weeks passed in an uneventful blur. Soubi never showed up again, neither did Kio. Minimal contact was had with his mother, for which he was very grateful. He walked into school that morning, just as he did every morning, with his typical steady pace, hands stuffed in his pockets. The wind nipped at him and he shrugged deeper into his coat. He hated the cold.

When he reached the classroom, Yuiko was looking around anxiously. He walked up behind her, not trying to be stealthy, it just kinda happened. He tapped her should and she jumped, turned around slowly, smiled and leapt at him. He caught her, confused as to why she was so exited. When he set her down, she beamed up at him and he couldn't help but smile even though he had no idea what was going on. She saw through his smile immediately.

"You don't know what day it is do you?"

"Um…no, not really."

"December 21st." He stared down at her completely blanking on the significance of the date. "Your birthday you idiot!"

"Oh…"

"You're eighteen at least be a little exited." To be perfectly honest, he didn't feel that exited. He had no one to celebrate with, no home to go to where a mother was baking him a cake and a nice birthday dinner. He sighed. It was just another birthday in Ritsuka Aoyagi's life. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing much." He was just another year closer to dying. But he didn't say that out loud. Yuiko would have hit him.

"Anyway, come to my house at five alright?"

"Why?" She placed a finger to her lips and closed one eye.

"It's a secret." She skipped off into the classroom, sliding into her seat. He sighed before following her. She was throwing him a party wasn't she?

…:::…

Ritsuka stood outside the familiar house and sighed for the millionth time today. He hated surprises. Especially surprise parties. Kio and Soubi threw him one for his sixteenth birthday. It wasted so much energy, that he simply went home and fell asleep. He wasn't really a partier. He reached his hand up and rang the doorbell. There was absolutely no use in delaying the inevitable. He heard Yuiko yell "One second" from inside and then there was as small bang. She tripped again. He would bet anything on it.

The door swung open and Yuiko smiled up at him. "Hey! Sorry you must be freezing." He shrugged but smiled at her. "Come on in." She said stepping aside, he slipped off his shoes, scanning the room for any signs of ambush. There didn't appear to be any and he followed her into the dining room. Her parents were already sitting at the table where an impressive amount of delicious looking food was spread out across the table. They stood up when he entered and her mom walked over and gave him a hug.

"Happy birthday Ritsuka." She stepped back and Mr. Hawatari stepped forward, ruffling his hair.

"Happy birthday kiddo." He smiled. Was this how kids normally felt on their birthday's. He liked it.

…:::…

When he had cleaned his plate, Yuiko began to clear the dishes, he began to get up and help but he was shoved back down with impressive force he didn't know she had.

"You can't go in the kitchen yet." She had said. He soon saw why. As the lights in the dining room dimmed, he turned his head towards the new source of light. As the cake was placed down in front of him, he felt an emotion he hadn't truly felt in a long time. Happiness. "Make a wish Ritsu-kun!" He closed his eyes and took a large breath. He wished for the one thing he truly wanted but didn't know how to get.

For Soubi and him to stop fighting.

He let the breath go, blowing out all the candles and Yuiko cheered, jumping up and down.

…:::…

He walked home, the box from Yuiko tucked tightly under his arm. He would have to sneak into the house. He missed his curfew which granted was a ridiculous time for someone in high school but it was his curfew none the less. He glanced down at his watch. It was nine thirty. His mother had most likely passed out from the sleeping pills by now, making his sneaking attempts all the more successful. He got to his front door and slipped the key into the lock, opening the door as quietly as possible and walking past the kitchen that was when he heard a plate break. He turned into the kitchen and saw his mother glaring at him. She raised a plate above his head, and reached up with his arms in order to cover his face.

…:::…

He ran through the familiar streets, well tried to run. Running was difficult thanks to his newly acquired limp. His right hand grasped the elbow of his left arm as blood flowed down his forearm, dripping off of his numb fingers. A man tried to stop him but he shoved him away with his shoulder, wincing when that hurt as well. He rounded the corner into an alleyway and crumpled to the ground, leaning against one wall. His strength was beginning to leave him, his eyesight blurring. He didn't have time to wrap up his major wound before he leapt over his balcony to the ground. He chuckled despite the situation. He jumped off of a second story balcony. He had to be insane.

It was at this point in time that he wished he didn't throw his cell into the river. He could have called Yuiko or Kio or…

He paused mulling over the name. What if he died right now? What if he died with Soubi thinking that he hated him? He couldn't muster up the strength to stand, let alone move. He was stuck, bleeding out in an alleyway with no way of calling for help. He sighed and leaned his head back. A raindrop fell on his cut forehead and he closed an eye as blood began to run towards it. He then closed the other one as the rain began to pour down, simply listening.

He could hear the sound of the rain pounding against the metal roofs around him, he could hear his ragged breathing but most of all, he could hear the irregular pattern of his heartbeat. Soubi had always come to save him. He had always helped him out of dangerous situations and protected him, and right now, there was nothing he wanted more than for Soubi to save him one more time. He sat in silence for a few moments, time untellable with all the grogginess in his head.

He suddenly heard a new sound. It sounded like heavy breathing but it wasn't him. He tried to open his eyes but they felt way too heavy and he gave up. Then he heard a voice.

"Ritsuka…" His eyes shot open.

"S…Soubi?" His voice came out weak and hoarse. The figure walked towards him and couched down, scooping the boy up in his arms. Ritsuka used his good arm to cling to the man's jacket, holding on for dear life. A familiar scent filled his nose, slightly clearing his head. The smell of cigarette smoke, paint and some type of flower he couldn't identify. He buried his head into the man's chest, getting his face away from the rain.

"It's alright Ritsuka…" He closed his eyes as his vision darkened. "I'm here." Those words were the last thing he heard before he slowly slipped into the blackness.


	5. Earless

**Chapter 5**

He drifted in and out of consciousness, always fading back into the darkness. He heard things while he was 'awake'. Voices mainly. He knew they were there but he couldn't make out words. It was all covered in the haze, muffled and unreadable. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't even open his eyes. He wanted too wake up. The darkness scared him. It was as if it was endless and he couldn't escape. Dreams, or were they nightmares, filled his mind. He couldn't control them. Fire. Death. Destruction. Pain. Blood. **Darkness.**

…**:::…**

For the first time in days, light seeped through his eyelids. He wanted to run to it, to escape the darkness, but he couldn't remember how to open his eyes. He concentrated on the light and only the light, hoping, praying, to reach it.

His eyes slowly slid open, light bleeding through the curtains of a window somewhere in the room. His whole body felt heavy, his limbs numb. His head was pounding, arm aching. He hurt all over. Where was he? What happened to him? He couldn't remember. All he remembered were images and sounds. He closed his eyes again, trying to sort through them all.

Crashing. Shattering. Anger. Screaming. Pain. Pounding. Running. Blood. Rain. Neon lights. A familiar voice.

He opened his eyes, afraid he would once again retreat into the darkness. He needed to find out where he was. Wood paneled walls. The faint smell of cigarette smoke and paint. The burning scent of some kind of alcohol. The smell of blood. That irony, metallic smell that was so familiar to him. He hated it.

He lifted his right arm to cover his eyes, when he heard a voice. "Sou-chan!" The voice screamed and Ritsuka winced at the sudden noise. "Sou-chan he's awake!"

"Stop shouting Kio."

"Sorry." Footsteps, two sets of them, came towards him and a familiar voice sounded.

"Ritsuka." He removed the arm from his face and turned his head to look the blonde man in the face. Soubi sighed in relief.

"S…Soubi?" He was shocked at how hard it was to get the words out. His throat was dry, his voice hoarse. "Where…where am I? What happened? I…"

"Shhh…" was all he said as he brushed a piece of hair out of Ritsuka's face. "It's alright." He turned his head towards the other man. "Kio, go get him some water." While his head was turned Ritsuka pushed himself up to a sitting position with his good arm. He swayed slightly and Soubi called out his name in fear of him falling. "Ritsuka…"

"I'm fine." Kio rushed back into the room with a glass and handed it to Ritsuka, a look of relief painted across his face. He took the water gratefully, swallowing all of it before handing the glass back to him. "Soubi, what happened?"

"You called for me."

"I what? But I didn't have my cell phone. How…" Soubi cut him off once more.

"As a sacrifice Ritsuka."

"But I thought…" His head began to pound once more and he rested it in one hand. "Ow…"

"What is it?"

"Nothing much. My head just hurts a little. It's no big deal."

"Ritsuka." Soubi crouched down by the bed so that he was looking directly into Ritsuka's eyes. "Not having you cell phone was foolish. What if I hadn't heard you?"

"I would have died but it can't be helped." Soubi's eyes widened slightly, obviously surprised at how he nonchalantly spoke of his own death.

"What do you mean?"

"I might have…intentionally misplaced it…" Soubi just stared at him so he continued. "Well you weren't answering and I was really mad so…I sort of…might have…thrown it in the river."

"You threw it into the river?" He nodded ready for Soubi to reprimand him about how foolish and childish his actions were. Instead, much to his surprise, he let out a soft chuckle and rubbed Ritsuka's head. "You're still a little kid aren't you?" There was the veiled reprimanding. Ritsuka sighed. His head hurt and he couldn't think straight. Pain shot up his arm and he winced. This sucked. "I probably should look at that arm and change the bandages." Soubi held his hand out and Ritsuka placed his left arm into it. He began to unwrap the bandages and Ritsuka saw that there were stitches holding the wound shut. He glanced from his arm to Soubi and back again. He hadn't been taken to the hospital so that meant…

"It was probably a good thing you were out cold Ri-chan." He looked at Kio expectantly. "Soubi had to sew your arm up but we didn't have any numbing medicine." His mouth fell open. Soubi had sewed his arm shut WITHOUT any painkillers. He was thankful to the darkness for the first time ever. "But I still don't see why you didn't just take him to the hospital Sou-chan."

"They would have asked all sort of questions. It would have been troublesome." _Wow. Where have I heard that one before? _Ritsuka thought cynically. He glanced down at his arm once more and for the first time saw exactly how large the cut was. It was at least 5 or 6 inches long. No wonder it bled so much.

"Um…Soubi?"

"Hm?"

"What exactly happened last night?" He looked up at Ritsuka questioningly.

"You can't remember?"

"Bits and pieces. I remember going to a birthday party at Yuiko's then walking home and my mom getting mad at me again. But after that it's all kinda hazy."

"I found you in an alley cut up. Then I brought you back here. That's it." For some reason, Ritsuka had the sneaky suspicion that Soubi was hiding something. "Kio, go get some Advil and more water." He left the room immediately. "Does your arm hurt?"

"Not too bad. I'll be fine." Soubi smiled and leaned forward to kiss Ritsuka's forehead.

"Never scare me like that again Ritsuka."

"You…you were worried about me?" Soubi looked at him, shocked.

"Of course. Why would you think otherwise?" Ritsuka looked away from him, back at his arm, his hair falling around his face.

"No reason."

"Ritsuka…" Just then Kio walked back into the room, saving Ritsuka from explaining whatever Soubi wanted him to explain. He froze in the doorway looking from Soubi to Ritsuka and back again. The atmosphere had become awkward and tense as Soubi poured more liquid onto his arm. Hydrogen Peroxide. That was the alcohol smell.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"No." Ritsuka quickly replied. Soubi looked up at him once again before shaking his head and returning his focus to Ritsuka's arm. Kio walked over and handed him two pills and another glass of water, which Ritsuka took gratefully. Soubi began to wrap a bandage tightly around his arm and he flinched when pain ran from the tips of his fingers up through his bruised shoulder. Soubi paused but Ritsuka simply nodded, telling him to continue. He looked down at himself for the first time. His t-shirt and jacket had been taken off leaving him only in his black wife beater. He guessed that they had been soaked with blood and sighed. He would have to go out and but a new jacket. He liked that one too. He kept his mind occupied with trivial thing for the next several minutes, trying to ignore the pain flowing freely throughout his entire body. He should be used to it by now, he really should, but it still hurt…a lot.

"So we're going to have to get you a new cell phone." He snapped his head up to look at Soubi whose voice had penetrated his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I said we're going to have to get you a new cell phone." He nodded. "You're going out later right Kio?"

"Yea. I can pick one up if you want."

"Thanks…" Ritsuka muttered as he pulled his arm away from Soubi. The numbness had worn off, leaving only the aching sensation. He rolled his wrist in circles experimentally. He'd be fine. Just like every other time.

"Are you hungry Ri-chan?" He shook his head. He wasn't hungry. Sure his stomach was empty but he was more nervous than anything. It was awkward around Soubi right now, and he wanted to get out of there.

He swung his legs off the bed and set his feet on the floor. He was still dressed in his jeans, spots of blood darkening them in places. He looked around the room. He should have recognized this place as Soubi and Kio's apartment right away. He had been there a hundred times at least. "I can grab you a new jacket too." Ritsuka looked up at Kio. And smiled.

"Thanks Kio but I can get one later. It's no big deal."

"No I insist." He laughed slightly.

"Alright then." He knew all too well that even through Kio may have been crazy, he was stubborn and once he said he would do something there was no going back. He wasn't going to waste his breath trying to convince him otherwise.

The pounding in his head had subsided into a dull throb and he could think a little clearer. The events of the past night were still slightly hazy. _Curse you. Damn blood loss._ He knew that was the reason behind everything. He read all about it. When you lose too much blood, your body begins to shut down. You go numb and your vision begins to fade. Then, typically, you have trouble remembering what happened. A mild case of Amnesia in other words. He glanced back up at Kio who was walking out of the room.

"Where are you going?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"To run some errands. Soubi and I need some art supplies. Need some more bandages, a cell phone, a new jacket…" He continued to mutter his shopping list to himself as he slipped on his shoes and walked out the door. Ritsuka felt his throat tighten.

Kio had left him alone with Soubi. He was alone with Soubi. Soubi. Who he had told he hated. Who he had constantly yelled at. Soubi. Who he had blamed everything on. He dropped his eyes back down to his arm, tracing the criss-crossing lines of bandages that now covered his entire forearm. Soubi removed his glasses setting them on the bedside table, rubbing his eyes.

"I'll leave you alone to get some rest then."

Alone. There was that word again.

Soubi stood up and began to walk away but Ritsuka reached out with his good hand and latched onto his wrist. Soubi stopped, and looked down at the boy's hand.

"Soubi?"

"Hm?"

"I…I mean…" Ritsuka's throat was dry. Why couldn't he get the words out? The words he had been wanting to say. "I don't…"

"What is it?" Soubi didn't move but stayed still as he waited for the boy to say what he was trying to say. The hand tightened around his wrist, fingers digging into his skin.

"I don't _hate_ you Soubi." A small smirk crossed Soubi's face and he knelt down beside the boy once more.

"I know."

"So…" His head was still hanging, eyes still hidden by the black hair. "So…_please_…" His voice was pleading, the word filled with different kinds of pain. His raised his head quickly to look at the man. "Please don't leave me again." The smirk faded from Soubi's face. He removed the boy's hand from his wrist and intertwined their fingers.

"I'm not going anywhere." He leaned in to kiss the boy, expecting to be pushed away. Instead Ritsuka returned it, gently at first, but as the kiss continued, it got more and more passionate.

**Lemon Warning! YAOI! If you're not into that, skip to the next chapter! The end of the chapter is going to be the end of the lemon so you won't miss any of the story line! **

Ritsuka moaned into Soubi's open mouth, falling backward onto the bed and pulling the blonde down on top of him. He tangled his fingers tightly in the other man's hair as he kissed him with a hunger bordering on desperation.

Soubi tore his mouth from Ritsuka's, panting for a moment before he buried his face in the boy's throat, dragging his tongue across the pale expanse of skin as his hands worked their way beneath Ritsuka's shirt. Soubi bit down on his lip and he couldn't stop the small moan that escaped his throat. He felt Soubi smirk against his lips as his lips traveled down to his neck, leaving a trial of bites and kisses as he went.

Ritsuka let out another small moan as Soubi hands traveled up his sides, sending shivers throughout his entire body. His fingers caught the edge of Ritsuka's shirt and brought it with them as they continued to travel upwards towards his chest. He sat up slightly as Soubi pulled the shirt up over his head. He lowered himself back onto the bed as Soubi stared at the left side of his chest.

Positioned on his left pectoral was a tattoo of a blue butterfly. Soubi continued to stare so Ritsuka explained, his voice thin and breathy. "Kio took me to get it…a few weeks ago."

"Didn't it hurt?" He smirked slightly, quoting what Soubi had told him years ago.

"Pain is evidence of our bond." Before Soubi had time to respond, he pulled Soubi's lips back to his and began to kiss him again, as his hands traveled to the bottom of the blonde's shirt. He pulled it over Soubi's head, only releasing his lips when it was absolutely necessary. Soubi lips traveled to his ear where he sucked on it lightly, then traveled down his neck once again and continued down to his chest where he captured Ritsuka's right nipple in his mouth. Another unwanted moan escaped Ritsuka's lips. He was enjoying this **WAY** too much for it to be healthy. He felt Soubi's hands travel down towards his hips, his mouth leaving his chest and traveling down his abdomen. Ritsuka arched his back into Soubi and he felt Soubi's breath come out in a puff as he laughed slightly.

Soubi's mouth found Ritsuka's again as his hands undid his belt buckle. Ritsuka reached up towards Soubi's waist and did the same, undoing the button of his pants as well. He used his feet to push off the offending article of clothing and Soubi completed his attempt by kicking them off and sending them flying somewhere. Ritsuka lifted his hips and Soubi dragged his pants and underwear off. He grinned, the expression almost feral as he leaned in for another kiss, wrapping one hand around Ritsuka's growing erection. Ritsuka writhed underneath him, alternately pushing and pulling at the blonde's shoulders, dragging his fingers back up into Soubi's hair and pulling hard enough to make the man groan. "Dammit…Soubi," he hissed, throwing his head back as the Blonde's hand tightened around him.

Soubi bit lightly at his lower lip before sliding down his body. Ritsuka tilted his head forward and Soubi grinned up at him crookedly before he ducked his head and wrapped his lips around the boy's erection, tongue teasing as he took Ritsuka into his mouth. A gasp tore itself out of Ritsuka's throat and his hips bucked against Soubi's restraining hands. Soubi only hummed around him, eyes glinting wickedly as he peered up at Ritsuka out of the corner of his eye. Ritsuka closed his eyes, groaning between clenched teeth as he buried his hands in Soubi's hair, his toes curling as he sucked sharply. "Dammit…Soubi," he repeated once more, not able to utter anything remotely coherent.

…**:::…**

Soubi Collapsed on top of Ritsuka and rolled over so that the boy was lying on his chest, both panting heavily. Ritsuka could hear Soubi's quick heart beat and as it began to slow down, so did his breathing. When his breathing had slowed to normal speed, his eyelids began to droop, eyelashes brushing up against Soubi's skin.

"Go to sleep Ritsuka."

"As long as…you're here when I wake up."

"I already told you didn't I?" He brushed hair out of the boy's face as his eyes closed. "I'm not going anywhere."

…**:::…**

**Alright so that was a little new for me…never done Yaoi before but that's what was requested so that's what I did…hope it didn't suck too bad…**

**Next Chapter will be up ASAP!**


	6. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**I NEED YOUR OPINION!**

**GO CHECK OUT MY RECENT POLL AND IT WILL HELP ME DECIDE HOW TO WRITE MY STORIES FROM NOW ON. **

**DO THAT AND YOU'LL GET UPDATES. **

**DON'T AND WELL…YOU'LL STILL GET THEM BUT THEY WON'T BE AS FREQUENT (THEY AREN'T EVEN FREQUENT NOW BUT I'M SWAMPED. SORRY)**

**MUCHAS GRACIAS,**

**VentePaDu**


	7. IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE. PLEASE READ!**

**So…I'm not dead. **

**You were probably excited thinking this was a new chapter. I'm sorry but it's not. **

**For over a year, I have been in and out of hospitals with some serious medical stuff. I'm not going to bore you with medical jibber jabber but just know that when the apocalypse hits, I now have so much metal plating in my body John Conner would confuse me with a Terminator. (Over exaggeration for the win! It's really 2 plates and 12 screws.) **

**Anyway, I have literally been out of commission for a long time. When I had good days, I'd sit up and write some more personal things (My novel that I hope to get published soon) but those days were few and far between. **

**Now that I'm on the mend (FINALLY!) I am going to do my best to start updating again. It makes me sad that some of you got sick of waiting but for those of you that are still with me, I plan to make it worth your while. **

**Love you all,**

**VentePaDu**

**P.S. My X-rays look so bad ass. **


	8. Fearless

**AN: So after all this time, here's a chapter. It's probably not the best and I apologize for that. I'm still trying to get my mojo back. Nevertheless, I hope you like it :)**

**VentePaDu**

**Chapter 6**

_**Soubi Collapsed on top of Ritsuka and rolled over so that the boy was lying on his chest, both panting heavily. Ritsuka could hear Soubi's quick heart beat and as it began to slow down, so did his breathing. When his breathing had slowed to normal speed, his eyelids began to droop, eyelashes brushing up against Soubi's skin.**_

"_**Go to sleep Ritsuka."**_

"_**As long as…you're here when I wake up."**_

"_**I already told you didn't I?" He brushed hair out of the boy's face as his eyes closed. "I'm not going anywhere."**_

Ritsuka's eyes opened slowly as sunlight crept through the curtains. He groaned as he rolled over, his whole body hurting.

He sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his back popping as he went. He was stiff all over. He set his feet on the floor and dragged himself over to the bathroom. He turned on the water as hot as he could possibly stand, unwrapped the bandages from several parts of his body and got in, letting the water loosen up all of his muscles. After he felt about ready to melt, he got out, dried his hair with his towel and slipped back into his boxers and jeans from last night. He glanced up in the mirror, as if to convince himself it wasn't a really dirty dream. An earless face stared back at him. It had really happened.

After spending several minutes mulling over this fact, he grabbed the new roll of bandages off of the counter and rewrapped his arm. He then began to search for his shirt, which, much to his dismay, was nowhere to be found. He sighed and walked out into the kitchen, scanning the room as he left it.

"Hey Soubi I can't find my shirt. Where'd…" He froze as his eyes fell on three figures in the kitchen. Kio, Soubi and…

Yuiko…Oh God…

"I can't believe you!" She ranted as she walked towards him. "Here I am worried sick about you and you're just here…fooling around!" She smacked his good arm when she reached him and then her expression softened as she took in his now earless appearance. He suddenly felt naked as if she was looking through him. "You really had me worried there Ritsu-kun. I knew that you missed your curfew and then you didn't show up to school for three days." He glanced at the clock out of the corner of his eye. Four thirty huh? He looked back at her when he felt arms wrap around his bare chest. "I was really worried." She mumbled the words into his chest and he patted her back, trying to be comforting. He glanced over and Soubi and Kio and mouthed 'Help me' in their direction. Neither of them seemed too enthusiastic about doing so and he glared at both of them as they smirked at him. She finally released him after several minutes, and began looking him up and down once more. "When'd you get a tattoo?"

"A few weeks ago." Then he heard Kio's voice from across the room.

"Cool huh? Now Soubi just has to get one and our little club will be complete." Ritsuka scoffed at the man with green hair and walked over to Soubi, who laid his arm across the shorter boys shoulders as Ritsuka wrapped one arm around his waist.

"I don't remember inviting you to join _our _little club Kio." He felt Soubi let out a silent chuckle next to him. Kio stared at Ritsuka, mouth wide.

"You're turning out to be just like Soubi. Always making fun of me. I'm obviously not appreciated." He began to dig into a bag on the counter. "And this is the thanks I get for buying you all this stuff." He pulled out a small black cell phone and a jacket that looked like a red and black track jacket at first glance, but it also had a hood when he looked at it more closely.

"Thanks Kio. Really."

"No problem. I was going out anyway." He tried to justify his soft side without much success. "Think of it as a late birthday present. Soubi already gave you one I assume." A slow blush crept across Ritsuka's cheeks and reached the tips of his ears.

"Not just for this. For the ice cream and advice too." Kio winked up at him.

"No problem little Ri-chan." Soubi looked down at him, utterly confused.

"What advice?" He released himself from Soubi's grasp and walked over to the fridge.

"Oh nothing. Do we have anything to eat?" Soubi sighed as he walked over and pushed Ritsuka out of the way, grabbing two eggs as he did.

…:::…

Later that afternoon, Soubi climbed up to his balcony and put all his clothes and school books into a large duffle bag and brought them back to him so Ritsuka wouldn't have to go home anytime soon. For that he was grateful. He had almost died. He didn't want something like that happening again.

Soubi walked him to school the next morning, saying that he simply had errands to run anyway. Ritsuka suspected that he had ulterior motives. He always did.

They reached the gate to the school all too quickly, and Ritsuka let out a sigh. This was going to be all different kinds of awkward. Sure Yuiko had accepted it easily enough but she was his friend. What about everyone else think?

It didn't matter what everyone else thought. At least that's what he told himself. "Ritsuka?" He looked up at the blonde man. "Are you sure you're ready to do this? I can call you in sick again."

"No I'll be fine. I've got to go sometime right?" Soubi looked down at him worried but didn't comment on it.

"Alright, if you're sure. I'll be waiting here when you get out." Ritsuka nodded and then walked towards the school. Other people in class had already lost their ears. It wasn't a big deal. Right?

As he reached the classroom door, he sighed again. No one had paid attention to him so far, maybe no one would notice, he wasn't that popular anyway. He slid the door to the classroom open and saw everyone busying themselves with their own conversation not paying any attention to him.

He left out a breath he didn't know he was holding and walked towards his desk. He slipped down into his chair and slouched down further into his coat, wanting to be swallowed up by it. A few people had noticed his entrance and they were whispering. Fabulous. He retreated back into his musings, thinking about completely inconsequential things, trying to block out his paranoia, when someone blew into his ear. He jumped, pulling himself completely up out of his jacket, back straight, muscles tense. He turned his head to the right and saw Yuiko sitting in her desk. "Jeez Yuiko. You scared the shit outta me."

"Sorry. You were zoning out again." He grunted turning his head to the front and sinking back into his new coat. Kio had picked out the perfect one. It was warm and fit him perfectly. He made a mental note to thank him again later. "So how's Soubi." He turned his head slowly, only his eyes visible over the upturned collar of his jacket.

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm just curious…" He knew where this was going.

"We went to bed last night without anything important happening, if you must know." He could hardly believe that innocent little Yuiko was asking about his sex life. He shook his head slightly as he turned back to the front of the room.

"So are you officially moving out of your house?" If he still had his ears they would have twitched. She was prying again.

"I guess I am." He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulled it out, opening up a new text message.

_**I'll see you in a few hours. **_

_**Soubi**_

A small smile graced his lips before he slipped the phone back into his pocket. "What's got you so happy all of a sudden."

"Nothing much." Just then the teacher walked in and everyone took their seats. He didn't make Ritsuka take off his jacket anymore. Apparently he had heard from Shinonome-Sensei the true reason behind his bandages. His arm was still throbbing dully and he glanced down at it, the only bandaged visible being the ones that ran down to his hand. He smirked. But then it slowly faded.

_My God. _He thought to himself as a realization hit him. _I'm turning into as big of a masochist as Soubi. _

…:::…

He watched the clock anxiously as it ticked through the last few minutes of class. He wanted to get out of here. People had been giving him weird looks all day. It got so bad at one point that he had almost left. But he had stuck it out. And in two minutes and nineteen seconds he could see Soubi. Not that he was counting or anything.

He was out of his seat the second the bell rang, and out the door one second after. He rushed to the front gate before anyone was in the schoolyard and, just as he expected, Soubi was already there. He rushed up and turned the man around, immediately capturing his lips in a quick kiss. He was glad that Soubi had listened to him for once and not smoked in front of a school. When they parted Ritsuka unwrapped his arms from Soubi's neck and took a small step away from him. Not more than half a minute later, voices began to fill the schoolyard. "So how was school?"

"Embarrassing. Awkward. Lengthy. Tumultuous." Soubi smirked down at him. "What are you smirking at?"

"Nothing." They stared at each other for a few more seconds. Before Soubi slipped an arm around his shoulder. "Let's go home."

Home. The word was shorter than a lot of other but held so much more within it's four letters. A Home was a place of love and belonging. A place where he could go to and feel accepted. He didn't have to be scared anymore. He didn't have to be….

ALONE.


End file.
